Simple Story

fulfilling the empty space

there was a time, when I can smile easily

there was a time, when my heart filled with joy

there was a time, when everything seemed easy

but now is the time, when I even force my self to smile

it is the time, when I know there’s a blank space deep within

it is the time, when a tiny good thing would lift up the load

A doubtful heart shall not make a choice

as it will lead to wrong judgment, but how should it stand?

when all seems to have no end…

 

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Simple Story

What it means to be grateful

Hi dears,

I have something in mind. Lately I question myself, the meaning of being grateful.

1. You have a dream job, but you loose yor passion in it. You want to let it go. Does it mean you are not grateful?

2. You leave you job because you want to have a meaningful life by being healthy in mind and body. Can’t you call it not grateful?

Aaah… I have no idea…

-end-

Simple Story

Stand Alone

Temperature is dropped by 5°C and I have nothing to cover my shaking body accept my hoodie.

‘Great’ I whispered.

I walk in to the nearest coffee shop, hope it would help warming me up a bit. I choose to sit at the corner, near the window. Holding my warm cappuccino cup, I look at the window and let my mind wandering.

‘I’m alone and I have always been’, I said to myself.

I look around the café and all that I see is people laughing with their friends or lover.. well, not like me. Even in such cold weather, I’m just alone hugging my hoodie because it’s too cold.

Finishing my coffee, I prepare my self to go back to the cold weather. Pulling my hoodie to cover my head, I walk as fast as I can until I feel a cold drop of water. It’s raining..another luck.

It stops my step. I surrender and look up to the sky to feel the rain drops on my face. I cry under the lamppost.

-end-

Simple Story

In a search of Enlightment

It’s been a while since I have my time to write down my scattered mind in my blog. I have been very busy or I have made myself too busy.

In this short time to write (my daughter is sleeping and I bet she will awake soon), I just wanna share a thing or two that I feel recently.

People say, or wise word say “You have to create your own happiness”. Do you believe it?Well, I do. But to create my own happiness is another thing. Recently I feel like my life is full of paradoxical matters. I am conflicting with myself.

For example, when I have too many working load, I tend to get stress and start complaining. When I’m complaining, at that moment, I realize or I feel like I’m not grateful enough. Or…

when I leave my work load to have fun a bit, at that moment I think about my work and start feeling guilty. If that’s not stressful enough… I have to think about my family too especially my almost 3yo daughter, who really needs my attention. But the worse thing of all, my health is getting worse.

So, while I type this post, actually I’m also thinking about the step that I should take to balance my life. I believe that I have put too much portion for work… but my mind came back with ZERO idea…

What should I do? I need tips..!

warm regards,

Eleonora Birgitta

 

 

 

 

 

Simple Story

Easier to Forgive than to Forget

It happened a long time ago, I should have forget it. I should.. I have forgiven the person, who has hurt me. i know I have. But somehow, I never thought it would be this hard to forget the thing that has happened.

People made mistake, I understand. People can do something wrong, I can forgive. But those memories stick on me and deeply stab my heart. It has been years…and I still can’t forget.

 

broken hearted,

-me-